Until Tomorrow
by anfieldgyul
Summary: As Susan contemplates the life she left behind, she finds solace in an unexpected source. Movie verse. Susan/ Caspain. One shot


Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine except for the little plot bunny, dancing around my head. All characters belong to Professor Lewis and the folks at Walden.

**A.N**: Waiting for _Caspian_ and all the controversy with the heightened relationship between Susan and Caspian, had me a little more excited to watch any movie, since LOTR. I was really happy to see how they portrayed their relationship and really hope that in the movie world, Susan will be back for _The Last Battle_. Canon Susan and movie Susan are worlds apart and I think a lot of us will be disappointed if Anna isn't there at least for all Suspian fans to see where they'll take this ship. This is my first foray into the world of Narnia. Hope you all enjoy it and don't forget the magic letters R&R thanks.

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Eyes, piercing brown eyes, which saw through her, taunted every step, every breath she took. They haunted her very soul as they could and would shear through every thought she could possibly imagine on him. It had been only two weeks, fourteen long days and even more excruciating restless nights, since their return to England. Yet, try as she could, Susan Pevensie could not rid herself of those doe like soulful eyes, which plagued her in waking and dream worlds.

Caressing the raindrop streaks against the window, she looked up at the gray skies heavy with clouds, seemingly weeping together with her fractured heart. The vision of green lawns before her brought only more memories of them together. Their stolen afternoon together, after his coronation, at the river surrounded by the dancing tress and nymphs strewing rose petals around and over them filling their young bodies with their sweet scent. The warmth of his arms wrapped around her, his strong fingers in the curls of her hair as he caressed and twirled her locks around a long finger, one hand propping his head as he stared into her eyes, burning her with the intensity of his gaze and she succumbed to his caresses, if only for that brief moment, where everything stood frozen in time for them. The taste of his lips, sweet like the berries they shared against hers and the overwhelming scent of him, of fresh pine and sea breeze so utterly like her King. It was all gone now that they returned to their time and he remained to follow his duty and destiny. A solitary tear trickled down her cheek racing against a fat raindrop speeding down the glass before her.

"Caspian" she whispered, breaking her heart further by mere mention of a name and a figure she swore to forget, for her sanity and his.

Yet she wondered whether this emotion was truly love or the stirrings of young emotions and the thought of being close to each other. It was only a short time. A month yes, maybe more, but their days were fraught with danger in every heartbeat at every corner. In a flash, anyone could be taken away from the wondrous Narnia. She was fascinated by him initially, anyone who stood against Peter in High King mode, deserved that honour. It soon turned into admiration for the adamant belief in what he stood for, despite all their adversities and finally the moment where she only read about and heard the older girls in her school whisper among giggles the state, where a simple stare would have her stomach filled with butterflies.

In quiet moments, Susan found herself thinking what Caspian would be like as a suitor in the Golden age of Narnia. Certainly not like Rabadash who tricked her with his false flattery and devious motives. She had seen him in all moods, from contemplative young man to fiery King on the battlefield and knew had he existed in that time, she would have found her match. She remembered vividly his smile for her, only for her as he came to her rescue against the Telemarines who followed them on the path to Aslan. How his calloused fingers, felt warm in her hand, the heat of his body against hers as they rode back to battle and the repressed tremble as she wrapped her hands around him as they returned. His dark eyes, seeking hers unconsciously for approval as both Peter and he argued over their next battle move and the way they glittered at her for her support and approval of his plan.

By the Lion! She wished for more than anything to return to him. To ride beside each other, lie on the dew filled grass, Caspian's cloak shielding her from the cold, while pointing out the star clusters, fingers entwined before a campfire, roaring to life. Filling them with an emotion they dared not name for fear of not seeing it come to fruition. What would she give, for one moment more to feel his warm breath nuzzled against the crook of her neck, as they stood locked in an embrace no one could release them from.

She had to stop the reminiscing; it would only bring more pain and suffering. They were never meant to be. Aslan's will and intentions were honourable and it was a fact she would have to deal with for the rest of her life. Caspian's future would be glorious, she knew that without any doubt, but to dwell on what could have would bring only pain and discomfort. One week here, meant years in Narnia. Certainly by now, he was blissfully married with an heir to continue his line. All she had to comfort her were their memories together.

"_Is this what a broken heart feels like?" _she thought miserably, noticing the rain had finally stopped since her voyage into Narnia and the sun was out in full force. The shrieks of Lucy finally snapped her back into her present world, where she stood in Professor Kirke's manor, as she looked at her trio of siblings running onto the lawn with cricket equipment in their hands.

"Come on Peter! The grass isn't that wet, we can still play rather than being cooped up inside again." Lucy pleaded as Susan smiled. Her younger sister's exuberance and optimism could rival the sun's brilliance if not checked. Yet they all ceded to her ways willingly. Lucy was their beacon in all situations.

How brilliant the grass looked after its morning drenching. Again, it reminded her of the first bow sessions she had with Caspian, who had humbly requested her tutorial in the art of archery. She remembered the shade of crimson he turned against his tanned skin, as she brushed his shoulder and gently raised his elbow to the height of the crossbow. How his eyes had darted to hers, hoping she did not see his reaction to her nearness but it was too late. She too had struggled with that session and for the others to come, to keep her emotions in check. Sometimes it worked others a horrible failure where they were both left stuttering for lack of forming coherent words and breathless. Again, she wiped away the multitude of tears streaming down her cheeks. **_She had to forget! _**

"Miss Pevensie, are you all right?" Professor Kirke's voice called out to her from the doorway, as she hastened to wipe away all traces of tears and turned to greet him mustering with all her courage a small smile to their benevolent benefactor.

"I'm sorry Professor. I did not see you standing there." She apologized avoiding the answer to his question as the gentleman to her dismay, crossed the room and stood beside her, intently watching the other three in their game of cricket.

"There is no need to apologize my dear, you seemed lost in thoughts. It's a shame though." He replied as Susan looked up quizzically.

"Shame?"

"That you are not out there with the rest of your family." He gestured to the happily screaming figures outside, while puffing his pipe contentedly.

"Cricket has never interested me sir. I was often an unwilling participant." She replied watching a joyous Lucy chase the ball across the lawn.

"Bah! Not the game! I never fancied it myself." He winked "I meant spending time with your family. Every breath, every moment in this life is a blessing when you have loved ones to share it with. Do not let these opportunities pass like the flicker of a flame. When you are my age Susan, there should not be any regrets for the past and what you could have done." He replied and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder as she looked up at him, wondering if he had read her torment and if Aslan himself had sent his old friend to help her. She closed her eyes and saw the amber eyes of the Great Lion himself as he breathed strength into her and felt calmed.

"Sometimes I wish things were different, that I could…I could…" she trailed off unwilling to say complete her sentence.

"Stay in Narnia?" he finished as she nodded silently. The Professor would know as well the emotional upheaval leaving there and returning to England would bring, as he too was privy to the glory of the Land. His and Polly's escapades he told them in great detail after they confided their first adventure.

"Susan, I cannot presume to know all of the details in your last journey but I can assure you, Narnia is never far away and neither is Aslan, despite what you feel at this point." He comforted.

"Is it wrong of me to wish for just one moment more Professor? To say all things which were left unsaid? Am I being selfish that I can never see him again and if the possibility does happen and Peter and I were return to Narnia, he would be long gone." She said and broke down sobbing against his coat. Her walls had finally crumbled.

"Is this the Prince Caspian, I have heard about?" he asked as she nodded mournfully. "Come Susan; let us sit by the armchair beside the fire. These stone manors are so cold even during warm summer days like today, which is never good for old bones as mine." He urged guiding her towards the chairs, settling her in.

"First loves are always the most difficult to forget I admit and so would many other souls out there. Yet always remember dearest, when He sees it the right time to call you back to Narnia, your loved one will be there to greet you." he attempted to comfort the young woman.

"Must I pretend this never happened? That my days in Narnia and with Caspian be pushed aside into the far corners of my mind, that these cherished memories must fade in order for the pain to leave, and then I am left with nothing, questioning my sanity that it did truly exist?" she asked quietly staring into the lines of her palms hoping they would contain the answers she yearned all the while, restraining the anger she felt for this cruel blow dealt to her.

"Heaven's no child! They should never be repressed. It is not Aslan's way to be cruel Susan, you of all should know that. This is your test dear. To see how well you can adapt in the time of your world. Polly and I had to face it when we were most unwilling to leave and now it is the turn of Peter and yourself. The Great Lion would never willingly inflict you with pain, it has never been his way especially to those who have been faithful and love him. It is simply a part of growing up. Both Edmund and Lucy will eventually face the same predicament, but you must never lose your faith and belief in him Susan no matter how hard." The Professor replied firmly, holding her gaze with bright, misty eyes.

"Like Lucy?" she responded, remembering how stoically her sister believed in Aslan's return when none of them were prepared to entertain the notion yet.

"Yes like your sister. Her innocence and utter faith in Him, is what endears her to others, we can all see her light, just as I see kindness in every action you do." He agreed as Susan watched in fascination the rings of smoke rising to the ceiling with every puff of his pipe.

"What of Caspian? Do you think I shall see him again?" she asked quietly as the old man chuckled, eyes twinkling the very same as Father Christmas, when they met him for the first time. The memory comforted her as the Professor stretched to take her hand.

"As Aslan said: _'Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen.' _You shall see him again my dear, just as I know my dearest Polly and I will return to Him when the time comes. Do not make the mistake of forgetting Caspian, but understand and move on with your life as he would have learnt to do in Narnia. It is hard at first but you shall heal child, human strength is fascinating when applied correctly and I know you have that in abundance." He smiled at her as she knew he truly was touched and sent by Aslan to help her. "I hate to leave, but there is a small matter I must attend to. Will you be all right?" he asked as she smiled genuinely for the first time since the siblings had arrived at the manor.

"I will. Thank you Professor Kirke, your words have eased my burden." She replied as he patted her hand fondly and stood to ready to depart.

"I am glad Susan. Take my last piece of advice if you would indulge in the whims of an old man. Go to them outside and be among their laughter once more. It is too wonderful of a day to be cooped inside this old house." He said smiling as he strode out of the room, glancing at the girl behind him. She would be fine he thought as he ventured down the hall.

Narnia, could never be just a memory in the halls of her mind. She, Susan the Gentle was tied to the land, as her heart and soul were to Aslan and Caspian. They would never be forgotten until it was time to come home and this test of Aslan's was one, she refused to fail.

"Farewell my love, until we meet again." She whispered closing her eyes to capture and savour the contours of his face and the memories of them together, encapsulating and etching them, for all eternity in her heart.

"Peter!" she cried opening the window and startling the others in the middle of an argument. "Give Edmund another chance to bat." She said as Edmund's face lit up at her backing of him. "I'll be down in five minutes to end his second spell." She teased as his face broke into a scowl at the quick betrayal and the fear of Susan's bowling.

"Hurry up Su, and get down here, we all want to bat." Peter replied as Lucy shrieked with joy that Susan seemed on the road to recovery.

_"Thank you Alsan." _She thought as she walked out the room, the words of the Professor echoing in her mind, comforting her and for the first time in weeks, Susan Pevensie knew everything would be fine.


End file.
